Although weve come to the End of the Road
Still I cant let go
You belong to me
I belong to you
Trying hard not to. But. Cant. Stop. Failed.
I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer. We’d make a good team. I don’t want to ask you any favors, but if you have time—and from what I saw, you have plenty—I was wondering if you could write a eulogy for Hazel. I’ve got notes and…
I thought i wouldnt cry but i did
The picture exactly describes me and how i feel even as i am typing right now.
This post is quite a bit late but I still wanna pour my heart out on this topic. So here it goes.
We are almost nearing the half of 2014 and I must say these past months have been marked with “goodbyes”. Some were hard, some were not. Some were sad yet some were filled with peace. But in this one word that most people hate, i have learned valuable lessons that i long to keep and remember every time I had to go through the same thing again.
The year started off with saying goodbye to a life that i got used to. I started my first job at a food manufacturing company here in my city. However, last April, I also bid goodbye to my first job. Boldly resigned to embark on an unknown journey. As to the reason why, its quite of a long story and i’d probably do another blog entry to answer it- soon. :)
A few close friends also left this year to take their own paths outside my city. Two of them had to. Their jobs require them to do so. One also went back to her hometown as the Lord called her back to the land of her father. A step of faith indeed and one I truly support. One, let me say, decided to just leave in silence. Just like that but I leave it that way. Perhaps its for the best, at least for that friend.
The hardest goodbye would be from my brother. He left the country to find greener pastures in another. Although it was hard, I guess he had to for his family. His child, my niece, is growing and will almost enter school. I believe, like any other parent, wanted the best for his child. Although i wish he would have stayed here. This would be the longest time that I wont get to see him and the next one would probably be after three years. It’s a long time indeed. I looked back at that day at the airport and almost teary eyed and watched him bid goodbye to my niece, his wife and to us. I can see it was also hard for him but he had to. Now i can relate when my friend said that he always hated the Airport’s Departure area. Yes, time will come that you’ll see each other again but still, the distance is something you wished did not exist. Again, i was teary eyed for a moment until i could not stop it any longer and let it freely flow.
I know a lot can relate with this. Everyone had had their own stories of goodbyes and a lot even more painful that what Ive experienced (But trust me, I had really painful ones in the past too). Yet again, this post isn’t just about the pain, tears and the never ending what if’s before and after goodbyes. So may I just share with you a few lessons I’ve learned from the past months (as if anyone can stop me from sharing lol haha):
… Saying Goodbye allows growth – I’ve learned that once you do not allow yourself to let go and say goodbye to the things you are used to know, chances are, growth will be slow or you’ll never grow at all. You see, once you are out of your comfort zone, it is then you’ll discover what you can and cannot do. It is when you say goodbye to the usual things that you’d discover, there is actually more. A step of faith is required and It may seem like each step doesn’t bring any result but in the end, you’ll be surprised as you look back and see how far you’ve gone in life.
… Saying Goodbye is for both parties- the one who parts and the one parted with. You know, sometimes its just about the person leaving and all his/her adventures. But it really isn’t just for them too. I have come to realize this as few of my friends left. I understand the fear of losing people and it really isn’t something pleasant. But like what I’ve said, it also benefits the one being parted with because you’d get to also discover yourself in the process. You’ll know how much you have loved and cared. You get to realize how mature you’ve become and the brand new day that awaits after the “seeming” loss. Like the person parting, you also get out of that sweet comfort zone. I’ve come to actually think, maybe it’s time to meet new people, get challenged, start a new adventure or anything out of the usual fix. Let go of the “I’m all alone” feeling. You aren’t. You only become one when you succumb yourself to the feeling of loss every waking hour of the day and deprive yourself from seeing the morning’s sunshine. There’s life out of the four corners of your room. People may have left, but rest assured, new people are coming too.
So I guess goodbye isn’t too bad at all. I mean, have you ever wondered why they used “good” in the word “goodbye”. They could’ve used “bad”, “lonely” or any other negative words to describe someone parting. (you can just probably google it cause I don’t have the answers too haha) Coincidence or not, I bet this word came about to tell us that life goes on and that life is good. Perhaps it is also to remind us that there is always good in every goodbye and that in every goodbye brings us closer to the next hello.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore”
Im just wondering, when will my life begin? 😔